‘In football, the only thing worse than a broken play is a broken promise.’ Shane Steichen sighed, pacing the war room like a general surveying a battlefield gone sideways. He wasn’t lamenting a blown fourth‑and‑short; he was mourning four straight playoff‑less seasons.
The 2024 Colts stumbled to an 8–9 finish in the AFC South despite Jonathan Taylor smashing franchise touchdown and 100‑yard game records and Josh Downs eclipsing Marvin Harrison’s single‑season catch mark, while a defense ranked 29th in yards allowed and tied for 25th in sacks left fans craving a renaissance.
By the time the whiteboard lit up, Steichen’s mission was clear: Take a 1,839‑yard leap for Daniel Jones. Well, the Colts using their 4 picks to rebuild offense in the latest mock draft isn’t just clickbait—it’s a lifeline thrown to Indianapolis, a city thirsty for hope between the Anvil’s clang and “Fan Appreciation” celebrations. Jones’s 1,839 passing yards on a one‑year prove‑it deal became the spark; the mock draft haul, the fuel.
‘It’s over 9000!‘ as Vegeta might roar, watching Taylor’s burst through the line—but the stakes are real. Shane Steichen channels that energy to flip the script: he’ll trade with the Jets, sending No. 14 and 80 to leap up for No. 7 overall. In exchange, Indy secures Tyler Warren, Penn State’s Swiss‑Army TE who racked up 1,233 yds and 8 TDs on 104 catches in ’24 and even threw for 35 yds himself. Warren’s blend of garden‑variety superhero and iron‑man blocker promises to be Daniel Jones’s favorite co‑pilot, a security blanket with hands like glue and thighs endorsed by every defensive coordinator’s nightmares.
Shane Steichen’s Angels:
Round 1, Pick 7: Tyler Warren (TE, Penn State)—The human cheat code
Warren isn’t just a tight end—he’s a 6’5”, 256-pound glitch in the matrix. Dude put up 1,233 receiving yards (11.9 per catch) while moonlighting as a part-time QB (3-of-6 passes completed, because why not?). Think Gronk’s chaos meets Travis Kelce’s finesse, with a side of ‘White Out’ game heroics that broke USC’s spirit. Steichen sees him as Jones’s ultimate safety net: a matchup nightmare who’ll turn 3rd-and-long into TikTok highlights.
Why It’s Genius: Jones thrived with Darren Waller in New York; Warren’s a younger, hungrier version. Plus, his NIL valuation ($511K) spiked faster than Stranger Things hype—thanks to that viral OT win. “Another great team win,” Warren said, humble as a golden retriever with a Super Bowl ring. “If they outlaw the tush push, it could be my play.” — Penn State’s TD-slinging TE, casually threatening to break physics and NFL rulebooks.
Round 2, Pick 45: Nic Scourton (EDGE, Texas A&M) – The rebranded reaper
Scourton changed his last name (Caraway → Scourton) to honor his dad—a move heartfelt. On the field? He’s a 257-pound hurricane with a mature rush plan (translation: he’ll sack QBs while quoting Machiavelli). Despite short arms, his 14 TFLs and 5 sacks in 2024 scream problem.
AFC Scout’s Take: “He’s a force player like George Karlaftis… but with more rush.” Translation: Indy’s 29th-ranked D just found its Draymond Green—intense, versatile, and always in the mix.
Round 3, Pick 80: Tate Ratledge (OG, Georgia) – The mullet messiah
Ratledge isn’t just a guard; he’s a 6’6”, 308-pound vibe. His 9.97/10 RAS score at the Combine? That’s Rocky montage energy. Allowed 1 sack in 311 pass blocks, rocks a mullet that screams ‘I’ll pancake you to a Skynyrd soundtrack,’ and has a Chipotle NIL deal (guac for the O-line, anyone?). “Culture is about accountability,” Steichen once remarked. Ratledge? He’s the enforcer, making sure Jones stays upright.
Hidden Gem: His $504K NIL valuation proves fans love a lineman with personality. Move over, QB1—guard is the new glamour position.
Round 4, Pick 117: Trevor Etienne (RB, Georgia) – The satellite savior
Etienne’s not here to replace Taylor—he’s here to complement him. With 4.42 speed and 62 career catches, he’s the Swiss Army knife Steichen craves. Think: Alvin Kamara Lite, with a side of NIL-funded 7-Eleven slushies. “I just try to be a Swiss Army knife,” Warren said earlier. Etienne? He’s the pocketknife version—smaller, sharper, deadly in space.
Stat That Matters: 2,081 career rushing yards. Taylor gets breathers; Etienne turns 3rd downs into track meets.
Round 5, Pick 151: Brashard Smith (RB, SMU) – The Speed Demon
Smith’s 4.39 40-time isn’t just fast—it’s cheetah-at-a-red-light fast. A converted WR, he’s a 5’10” jitterbug who racked up 1,600+ all-purpose yards at SMU. “Undersized” is just code for ‘you can’t catch what you can’t see.’
Why Indy Cares: With Khalil Herbert as RB2, Smith’s the change-of-pace sparkplug. Imagine Taylor bulldozing for 8 yards, then Smith jet-sweeping for 20. Poetry in motion.
Round 6, Pick 189: Malachi Moore (S, Alabama) – The Captain Clutch
Moore, Bama’s two-time captain, is the human Band-Aid for Indy’s leaky secondary. 70 tackles, 2 INTs, and leadership sharper than Succession’s Logan Roy? Yes, please. “Culture is to me about winning,” Shane Steichen’s philosophy. Moore? He’s the DB who’ll mic-drop opposing QBs.
NIL Flex: His $547K valuation funded his brother’s tuition. Now that’s a legacy pick.
Round 7, Pick 232: Jason Marshall Jr. (CB, Florida) – The forgotten ballhawk
Marshall started 39 games at Florida but only snagged 2 INTs. Still, his 4.49 speed and press-man skills make him a Day 3 steal. Think: A poor man’s Stephon Gilmore, hungry to prove ‘ball production’ isn’t everything. Scout’s Whisper: “He’s around the ball more than a moth to a lamp.” Indy’s CB room gets depth—and a chip-on-shoulder project.
The Colts’ culture isn’t built on stats; it’s built on soul. “The Anvil,” a 200-pound symbol of “Heartland Pride,” isn’t just pre-game theater—it’s a metaphor. This team hammers adversity, one swing at a time.
With $23.2M in cap space, Indy added Charvarius Ward and Cam Bynum, but the real magic? Jones’s $14M prove-it deal. He’s not Luck 2.0—he’s Jones 1.0, a redemption arc waiting to happen.
Shane Steichen’s gambit mirrors Indy’s heartland culture—tough as the Anvil ritual once introduced by Robert Mathis, yet full of poetic beauty like the dawn over the White River. In this new era, music plays from Lucas Oil Park, fans chant “Hey, Baby!” with fresh hope, and community tailgates swell around blue‑and‑white tents.
When Steichen reminded his staff mid‑season that “Culture is to me about winning, and we didn’t win enough this year,” then paused before adding, “But we got the right guys, and I always say that because we got good character guys in there,”
He wasn’t mere motivational flair—he was sketching the blueprint for a rebirth.
So in Week 1, when Warren flexes out, Ratledge anchors the pocket, Jones scans for daylight, and Taylor, Etienne and Smith ram through creases, remember this mock draft’s bold promise. It’s more than nostalgia for Manning magic or the Terrible Towel’s roar—it’s a full‑throttle, 1,839‑yard leap toward redemption, one block, one catch, one cutback, one pocket‑pass at a time
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